Healing and integration of my inner teenager


Finely, my inner teenager embraced and integrated. It happened unannounced and just in time, because my son is in his early teen years and I need to be ready to guide him through his teenage life. It was a sudden feeling that I am now capable of embracing, loving, nourishing and parenting my teenage self. This enlightening realisation happened just before my birthday. Also I realised that I just doubled my age since my the most messy teen period of life. I didn't know before how important it is to be at peace with your inner teenager and how my inner rejection of the "teenager Bea" resulted in certain patterns during my adulthood. Patterns that didn't serve me well and caused me lots of trouble. If you had a messy teenage period, it is really important eventually to get to the point where you can be a good parent to yourself. Love yourself and your teen self as you love your child. I realised then how genius teenager I was on so many levels and how much of that Bea is still an important essence of myself and that I never want her to leave. I was very brave, fighting for myself, quite a wild thing and mad, but I had so many different sides and talents in me that I just didn't know how to channel and express it. I'm actually figuring it out till now... I was always a big thinker, very philosophical and political, artistic, interested in many different things. Much ahead of my peers (maybe because as a child I didn't really spend much time with my peers, instead I was surrounded by adults, older sisters and my fantasy world) and I was rebellious. I was put into the category of problematic black sheep of the family and my community ( even though I was also fortunate at the same time and I got lots of support too). Such experience gave me the ability to be independent, to walk the latent path and see the other side of things. Otherwise, I would be the good girl, doing all the right things and pleasing everybody around. Actually , if I did not have been the wild teenager that I was, I would never have had the life lessons that I did and then maybe I would never be able to get to the point where I am now. On the journey of accepting and loving every piece of myself, including my teen self. I think it's a cool and empowering way to think about yourself. Always look for more empowering interpretation instead of putting yourself down. 

2 in 1 ....  A teenager and an (almost) adult :)